First World Problems for Female Riders

First World Problems for Female Riders
By Charlene Belanger

If you ever thought that, as a female, going into a car dealership was a pain, try riding mountain bikes. I recently read a hilarious blog about “First World Problems for Female Climbers” and thought it only fitting that we look at challenges female riders face.

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– Being told (quite possibly by your husband or boyfriend) that the reason he was so slow on the descent is because the rear shock had far too much/little high speed damping.

– Having to continuously pass “that guy” who can’t believe that a girl might actually be faster than him.

– Listening to guys explain to you that “there are actually some pretty good female riders out there”.

– The dude on the bike thinks you’re checking him out, when in reality you were just checking out his bike.

– Finding a riding shirt that doesn’t have flowers, stylized girls or pastel on it.

– Contrary to popular media, you are the one who think it’s a good idea to bring the bikes in the house.

– You have to repeatedly explain that no, the smile on your face this morning is from last night’s ride…as in mountain bike ride…..

– You don’t break parts, you wear them out.

– You read articles on “How to Take Your Girlfriend Mountain Biking” and really don’t get it.

– Even though you are the fastest member of the team, people still treat you like the token “at least one female” on the 24hr race squad.

– Your friends aren’t ecstatic when they get onesies with bike shop logos as baby gifts.

– You eat four meals a day. So?

– When walking down the hallway, your cleats are louder than your daughter’s tap shoes.

– You can’t remember the last time you looked at yourself in the mirror without a uniboob.

– You feel obligated to apologize when you clear something and others don’t.

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But, you know, it’s not all that bad and there are definitely some benefits to being a female rider too:

– Laughing hysterically when you describe your bike as “female ridden” as you put it up for sale.

– Saving money on vitamin E because, if you go through the pain, damn it, there better be a scar!

– Your car would be useless for any homicide investigations because there are so many traces of DNA evidence from blood, skin, etc left after rides.

– Neosporin – antiseptic AND moisturizer!

– Your permanent raccoon eyes eliminate the need for makeup.

– And, last but not least, the opposite sex actually likes it when you wear lycra!!

Happy Trails!